The Self Help industry generates over $10 Billion in sales annually, and there’s no doubt that it helps people gain better confidence in themselves, their businesses, their families, and even the state of the world we live in.
But there’s also a dark side to this industry which is not openly shared, and which can be extremely limiting for people.
Here are five popular self-help strategies that are widely marketed that could be limiting you in your business endeavors, and what to do instead!
1. Finding/Following Your Life Purpose
It’s great to have purpose. But sometimes this can make people judge themselves if they are not finding it, or living it, in every single moment. When you have a reason and justification (or purpose) for doing something, it can limit your openness to other possibilities, how it actually gets created, and keep you judging yourself for not living or carrying out that purpose.
2. Goal Setting
There’s no doubt that many people set and reach goals. It is curious though why others don’t. I’ve been studying and working with linguistics, semantics, and the etymology of words for over 20 years and have seen how the words that we use are a vital part of creating the results that we desire. This is because the words we use are not just sounds; they are carriers of energy or intent.
When we look at the original meanings, we can better understand what we are saying. The word “goal”, for instance, stems from the 1530s and actually means an “end point of a race”. It appears once before this (as gol), in a poem from early 14th century, with an apparent sense of “boundary, limit.” It is perhaps from Old English *gal “obstacle, barrier,” a word implied by gælan “to hinder”.
Now I’m not sure about you, but I am not about to be putting any of my energy into ‘end points, boundaries, limits, obstacles, and barriers’!
Here’s what I would rather do: set targets! There are three main reasons I prefer setting targets:
- You still get points even if you miss the bullseye
- You get instant feedback about where to aim next
- You can have as many as you desire and they can be as big or small as you’d like
3. Visualization
With visualization we’re taught to involve all the senses, make it specific as possible and keep focusing on the vision. The issue with this, is that when you decide that something has to show up a particular way, you cut off your ability to perceive and receive any other opportunities – even those that may be greater!
4. Saying Affirmations
Affirmations are another strategy that have become wildly popular and they are often linked to the other practices listed here. One of the ways they can be limiting is that they get you to buy into the lie that if you repeat a statement over and over again (which you’re saying inevitably because you don’t inherently believe it), that it’s going to change things. These statements don’t contribute any energy or intent for action or choice.
An alternative strategy is to swap out the “I am…” for a question stem such as, “What would it take to…?” That way you are asking a question, which gets your brain and body engaged to leap into action and creates new neural pathways and connections.
5. Staying/Being/Thinking Positively
No doubt that everyone is constantly being told to think, be, stay positive! How long have you ever been able to stay positive, and how long did it take before you started to judge yourself for not staying positive?
The issue with this concept is that it perpetuates judgment of yourself, and anytime you’re judging yourself, you’re stopping your creative flow.
Positive and negative are two sides of judgment. The more you buy into one as more valuable, and resist the other, the more you perpetuate more of all of it! What if nothing was positive or negative? What if nothing was right or wrong? What if all of it was just information you were receiving so you could keep choosing that which was going to create greater?
Self-help strategies can be a contribution to your business. But don’t simply buy into the lie that they all work. Ask, “If I choose to use this, what will that create in my life and business?” to get the awareness of what is best for you.
For more information and two more strategies, visit www.kerrygarnerventer.com and download my FREE checklist and training!
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