All jobs can be demanding at times and it’s the boss’s responsibility to motivate their employees and help them rise to the occasion. Unfortunately, some bosses have the rare ability to make us disengage from the same work we once found meaningful and rewarding.
They seem to think that by putting excessive pressure on their staff, they’re actually doing them a favour. They’re supporting them on their “path to growth”.
Maybe you suspect that your boss has never done your job, doesn’t fully understand what it is that you do and how much time it takes to deliver quality results. Or maybe you work for several people with separate demands, and because of lack of communication, they don’t realize they’re each assigning time-consuming tasks due on the same day. It can be that your boss has a lot on their plate and has lost sight of how much work they’re piling on their employees. Of course, it can also be that you have a bad boss who’s not particularly good at managing a team and lacking in empathy.
If your boss seems like a real-life version of the ruthless editor from “The Devil Wears Prada” you may be wondering:
- How should I handle this situation?
- How can I communicate my feedback politely and without sounding like I’m “whining”?
- How can I negotiate my workload without jeopardizing my job or my reputation?
What Is an Overly Demanding Boss?
Working for this type of boss tends to fill you with self-doubt. In the initial phase of the “relationship” you strive to prove your value as an employee so you go above and beyond. Somehow you can never live up to their expectations and the more you give the more they push until you break down and start experiencing symptoms of burnout.
An overly demanding boss may be unwilling to understand what it takes for you to deliver the results they’re asking for. They’ll give you unreasonable deadlines that require you to constantly work overtime. They seem to have little interest in your well-being and don’t give you recognition for your achievements. You’ll notice that they have trouble prioritizing, don’t take the time to find out if their assignments are reasonable or if you have the tools and information you need to complete them. Instead, they make themselves unapproachable so that you’re left with only one option: just do it.
Although a bit of pressure can be motivating, this management style, in the long run, actually decreases productivity. Trying to perform at an unsustainable level causes a spike in stress levels. Employees become demoralized and start disengaging. A bad boss can also create an environment of toxic competition, leading co-workers to turn on each other.
Ultimately, this results in higher turnover rates which puts an even heavier burden on the remaining staff.
Disengage – Don’t Take It Personally
Despite how they may make you feel — lazy, incompetent, a failure — their behaviour has nothing to do with you. Demanding bosses tend to focus on results, with little consideration for the negative consequences on staff morale. They see themselves as over-achievers and they expect the same from you.
If you take a look at how they talk to your colleagues, you’ll notice it’s mostly the same. They’ll personalize their criticism and passive-aggressive jabs a bit, but overall, it’s the same entitled, stubborn attitude. They were like this long before you ever met them. They may have bosses with similar personalities looming over their heads, but whatever the root cause, taking their behaviour personally will only further increase your stress levels.
Find Healthy Ways to Release Stress
Dealing with an overly demanding boss leads not only to higher stress levels, but also tons of anxiety. You’ll try drinking more coffee, spending more time at the office or taking some of your work home with you. All of this will affect your sleep quality and make you less productive. Then you’ll actually be under-achieving, even by reasonable standards.
Sleep the required 7 to 8 hours. If the constant worrying and ruminating is making it harder to fall asleep, try taking a hot bath before bedtime or natural solutions like OrganicCBDnugs. Getting enough rest will help you better regulate your mood, and we’ve already established that no amount of effort is going to please your boss, so do yourself a favour and look after your health.
Because of the stress, your adrenaline and cortisol level will increase. A light exercise routine will help you counterbalance these stress hormones and will make your body release much-needed endorphins.
Talk to the Right People
It’s tempting to complain to your colleagues about how unreasonable your boss is. Who could possibly understand you better? All you want is a chance to vent and get some support. Unfortunately, this can backfire if your boss gets word of the things you’ve been saying about them. It also doesn’t really solve anything. In the end, the best person to talk to is your boss.
Of course, to be able to negotiate, you first need a safe environment to release your frustration. You can talk to your partner, your friends or a therapist. They’ll help you regain your sanity by offering you an objective perspective and some comforting words.
You can vent some of your anger in a journal. Imagine you’re writing to your boss and you have the chance to tell them everything that’s been bothering you in uncensored vocabulary. Then you can move to our next point.
Set Reasonable Expectations
Once you’ve written down all your complaints and you’re starting to feel better (you might have to write for several days) you can read through it and think about how you can rephrase it in a polite way.
Take out your most pressing concerns and write an email or prepare a speech. Whatever you wrote should be made to sound something like this:
“Thank you for taking the time to discuss this with me. I know how busy you are, etc.”
“My goal is to do my absolute best work for you and I need your help to make this happen.”
“I appreciate your confidence in me regarding [unreasonable demand]. Here’s what I’m running into: [describe what’s preventing you from fulfilling demand]. I have tried [strategies you have tried] but [reason why strategies didn’t work]. I feel that with [things that will help you] this [reasonable expectation] can be done with high-quality results within [reasonable timeframe].
Always focus on the results you can deliver and mention past accomplishments to show that you do know how to do your job. If you can give them a strategy that will deliver them a better outcome than what they’ve been doing so far, you’ll find that they’re more inclined to listen to your opinion.
