Post-college, where do you go to meet other like-minded people and establish newfound friends who have similar interests? Who has time to troll people via mobile dating apps to make friends? Or how do you get over that awkwardness of introducing yourself to someone out in public and asking them if they’d like to be friends?
Needless to say it’s not easy! See below my top five steps to making friends as an adult. After picking up my things and moving from Indiana to Florida, I had to figure this problem out quickly or else I would have been sitting on the beach all by myself working on my farmer’s tan.
Step 1: Get off your couch and put down your phone!
Until you leave the comforts of your living room and ditch your phone for real life interaction with others, you’ll have an extremely hard time making friends. Real friends talk to each other, see each other, and do things with each other on a regular basis. Texting or chatting over social media does not lead to long lasting friendships, so don’t be fooled just because you have 5,000 “friends” on Facebook. As humans we crave interaction in person with each other and once you leave your couch and pause whatever show on Netflix you were watching, you’ll see how quickly your social life will turn around.
Step 2: Just say yes
The more invitations you say yes to, the more people you’re going to meet. It’s a simple numbers game. Quality still matters but you have to start somewhere. And if the invitations aren’t coming your way, find events to go to on your own. Between your local newspaper, events posted on Facebook, Eventbrite, or other platforms, you can find something going on in your city every single week to leave your comfort zone and try a new activity! That’s the whole fun of saying yes to new events – you’ll meet tons of new faces and if the event is something up your alley, you’re more prone to meet people who have something in common with you. I always recommend volunteering as the easiest of all ways to meet new people in a city. Plus, when you volunteer, it’s also good for the local community!
Step 3: Follow Up / Follow Through
Okay, great – you just met a handful of new people at an event and added them on social media or even better, you got their phone number. Now what do you do? Follow up! Ask them out for coffee, lunch, happy hour or anything else you can think of. Becoming a true friend takes time, and I’ll fill you in on a little secret: Most people aren’t going to reach out to you to do something – so be proactive and invite others out, and tell them to bring some of their friends with! They’ll thank you for it. Always remember that the one-on-one conversation is critical to getting a new friendship off the ground and also to keeping it going. Group settings are great for social interactions but if you really want to have deeper level conversations and truly connect with someone, spend an hour or two chatting with them over coffee.
Step 4: Bring the Positive Energy
Going out in public and meeting people is a big deal. But if you really want to be successful at this, you have to bring the positive energy! No one wants to talk to a Debbie Downer who fills the room with negative thoughts and negative energy. When you walk into that room, hold your head up high, shoulders back, smile, give a firm handshake, and own it! You are a magnet for the energy you put out. And when you’re bringing all the positive vibes with you wherever you go, those are the type of people you will be attracting to you. Remember – you are a reflection of who you surround yourself with and wouldn’t you rather be with others who lift you up with positive energy?
Step 5: Be Real, Be Genuine, Be Yourself
To truly connect with others, you need to be yourself! Be proud of who you are. People can spot you being fake from a mile away, so don’t even try. Don’t you want people to like you for who you really are? Those are the friendships that will stand the test of time, not those that are built on false pretenses. You may not make friends with everybody but who does? Be happy with you are and have faith that others will like you for being you.
Changing routines is never easy but if you utilize these five steps noted above, I have all the faith you can go out and make new friends today! Take a deep breath and just do it. What do you have to lose? Netflix will still be there when you get home. Good luck and happy connecting, my friends!
