Every romantic relationship comes to the “moving in together” phase. This is a logical step in developing your intimate relationship into a deeper one and maybe even a lifelong partnership. It is an important milestone and this is why partners are always nervous when it comes to this. Dozens of questions appear in their heads.
Will It Harm My Relationship?
Unfortunately, living together can damage your relationship (at first). I mean, couples move in together and immediately start fighting way too much and too often. This doesn’t have to happen to all, but you have to try hard to prevent it.
You might want to plan a residential move if you are living in a studio-type apartment. It would be a smart move because moving in together creates huge pressure for a new relationship. And it can have some serious consequences if this doesn’t work out.
People are different. We all have different dreams, aspirations, hopes, expectations, assumptions, and habits. Some people are not ready to live with another person which is not their family member. They might not even know that before they start living with that person. Even couples that spend a lot of time together still don’t encounter the challenges that usually come from living under the same roof.
Your Apartment Is Too Small?
Cohabitation with another person demands some “alone time”. The lack of that private space can become a serious source of irritation for couples living in small apartments. This kind of luxury doesn’t exist in a studio apartment. However, it doesn’t need to be like that.
Make Some Space
Everybody needs some alone time, especially after coming back from a difficult day at work. Some of us just need to remain silent for an hour before coming back to the “real life”; others need to sleep, watch movies, play games, etc. The same goes if you have to work from home, and naturally, you can’t do that when someone is talking, or just walking around the place. On the other hand, what if you fought with your partner? You can’t just go into another room to chill out.
To resolve this issue, you can divide your tiny space into several smaller compartments. You can even create your “private lair” in the form of a home office, or by using some of the furniture. For example, don’t be afraid to place your work desk in a corner of that one room and work from there with your headphones on.
That goes for both parties. You should both have enough space for yourself and your things. This is especially important for those who are moving into a place where another one has already been living. This means taking out-of-season clothes out of the closet to make some room for your partner’s stuff or creating some extra room on the bookshelf so your favorite read material can cohabitate.
Clutter
Most of us don’t like clutter. It is bad for your physical and mental health. Too much clutter can also be a fire hazard and dust, mold, and animal dander that collect in cluttered homes are all bad for allergies and asthma. Furthermore, clutter destroys productivity, increases your stress, wrecks your diet, etc. It is bad for your personal and professional life.
Our homes should represent a sanctuary from the wider chaotic world. They should provide us with comfort, security, and shelter and at the same time support the activities of daily living.
Now, imagine a cluttered small space and you are trying to work or relax in it. However, you should remember that your other half might genuinely not notice piles of clutter. Try to understand that he (or she) might have some kind of a disorder or has maybe gotten used to such an environment. The same goes for the people who are used to walking around the house with shoes on or leave hair in the shower drain. There has to be at least one bad habit that you can hardly notice but other people simply despise. This is why compromise is so important in a relationship.
Aesthetics
You might have a clear idea of what your style is, however, have you ever thought about how that style works with what your partner is drawn to? Just like the cluttered space can make someone nervous, a different style or a style that you have not been used to can make you a little bit anxious.
You want to be on the same page with your partner on this one.
It is important to start with some good mutually acceptable idea of what you want your space to look like. Read magazines together, surf the net and find mutual ground. Talking is the key! And don’t be afraid to purge.
Division of Household Chores
Just like the part about cleanliness, it is important to talk about who is responsible for which household chores. Don’t be afraid to talk with your partner about these kinds of problems. It might not be a “big deal” in the beginning, but believe me, it will become a huge problem later on. Just be fair in the division and speak up if something is troubling you.
You Should Both Decide About What You Buy
If you are living in a small space, the chances are that you don’t have tons of money laying around for some expensive furniture. This is why you should both be careful about what you buy. Again, talk to each other and find something you both agree upon.
Financial Problems
Let’s say that one of you, or (in the worst-case scenario) both have bad financial habits. This can be a real dealbreaker. Although you should have talked about money long before you even started talking about living together, it can be easy to get caught up in the excitement and love. But problems will emerge once the first bills start coming in.
You can resolve this by talking about the problem, and there is therapy and a class on financial management that could help. Be honest with each other.
