When divorce is unavoidable, it is often the father in a family who will lose out in the divorce custody settlements. Courts will generally be more favourable towards the mother when it comes to custody. Whatever situation you find yourself in, these are some tips for making sure you are as successful as you can be as a divorced dad even when running your own business.
Prioritise your children
Going through divorce proceedings can be very emotionally stressful and you may have to deal with the fact your wife or husband wants to divorce even though you do not, or you may need to move out of the family home, adding extra stress into the situation.
What you must try to do at all times is to put your kids first and not let your feelings get the better of you. If you are an older parent then you have the benefit of experience and this may help you to see the bigger picture and that the welfare of your children is more important than any anger you feel about the divorce. You should never talk negatively about your ex-spouse in front of your kids, as this can upset them and leave them feeling caught in the middle of you both.
Stay close if possible
The closer you live to your kids, the easier it will be to maintain a close relationship. So, even if you think that you want to get as far away from your ex as possible, remember that living close by will give you more opportunities to see your children. It will also be more comforting for your children to know that you have not gone far away.
Make the most of your time with your children
Whatever custody arrangements get decided, you should make a huge effort to spend quality time with your children when they are with you. This does not mean you have to go on expensive days out all of the time, but simply do things together like going to the park, bike rides, watching movies together or doing whatever your kids enjoy doing the most.
You should also spend as much time as possible talking to them about how they are feeling and assuring them that everything is going to be okay.
Don’t let the business slip
While this is a very stressful and mentally draining period of your life, you have to make sure that keeping your business ticking over is paramount for you and for your children.
Don’t take on big contracts and overrun yourself with extra work. Make sure the existing clients of your business are looked after (depending on your business). And make sure you give yourself free thinking time. Try running and going to the gym.
Establish a routine
Your child’s world has probably been turned upside down, so they need as much routine and consistency as possible to help them to cope with the changes that have happened as a consequence of your divorce. This means arranging to see them on the same days each week, keeping to the same bedtime routines and continuing doing other activities that they did before the divorce, such as going to clubs.
Prepare for paying child support
It is likely that you will be ordered to pay child support if you are the non-custodial parent. This will be required until the child is 16, or older if they do A-levels or the equivalent. On the basic rate in the UK, for one child, you will pay 12% of your gross weekly income as child maintenance. If you have 2 children, it will be 16% and 3+ is 19%.
Be cautious about dating
If you feel ready to start dating, you need to carefully consider the impact it will have on your children. If a new partner is going to be staying at your house, this could make your children uncomfortable at first, so it is better to gradually introduce someone new into their lives.
These are some of the top tips for being as successful as possible as a divorced dad, but the key is to always put your children first if you want to make sure you have a strong, long-term relationship with them.
