One of the things that I learned on my way to becoming a communications coach is that excitement can be misinterpreted as fear. This confusion may have originated in childhood. Think of a young child on the verge of a new challenge such as going on a fairground ride. It is often the case that an overly anxious parent or caregiver tells them to be careful, that they must be afraid.
What occurs at that point is that child assumes that the sensations of excitement going through their body is actually from fear. So, years later, when they are preparing to give a presentation, they somewhere remember that conversation, though probably not consciously, and they are sure they are afraid, rather than excited.
This confusion of fear for excitement may be true for you as it is so commonplace. It was certainly the case for me. When I asked myself the simple question “Is this fear or excitement?” I found, to my total surprise, that I was actually excited to share what I know. Ask that question yourself, and the answer may surprise you as well.
Although having this awareness was really helpful for me, it was not enough. I required some “tangible” techniques to help me to get to the point where I was confidently presenting to groups and could really own that I was feeling excitement and not terror.
Here are five of my favorite tips that can allow you to truly enjoy speaking with others whether it’s a small group or in front of a large audience:
1. Stand with confidence
I recommend having your feet wider apart than you normally do as this will make you feel more stable. Then deliberately feel the ground below you. This has a calming effect on the body. I also suggest expanding out, which counters the contraction we can often feel in our body when we are “on show.” The combination of these two practices allows you to feel and look confident and unshakeable.
2. Move your body
The sensations going around your body are actually a build up of energy. Sometimes, when we don’t disperse the energy we can physically shake, or feel what we call anxiety, like butterflies in the stomach.
To help alleviate this build up of energy, I suggest doing some exercise earlier on during the day of your talk, or, like me going to the rest rooms a few minutes before you are due on stage and jumping up and down. Then, as you are presenting, don’t be afraid of moving around. This actually looks more natural than forcing yourself to be very still.
All of this can mean that your body feels less agitated, and you will be able to focus on your presentation rather than the “jitters” you are experiencing in your body.
3. Engage your audience
Many public speaking experts suggest that you tell your audience what you would like them to know several times, in a variety of ways. What often occurs is that the audience feels that they are being “sold” something, that something is being “pushed” at them. The natural response to this approach is to resist and back off.
An alternative to this method of delivery is to “pull.” This may sound a bit strange at first, yet it is something that many great speakers and performers do naturally. Try imagining a thread that comes from behind your audience, through them, and then through you, and that you are gently pulling on that thread.
What this does is connect you to your audience, with the result that the audience feels energised, enthusiastic and included in what you are saying. You also tend to feel more engaged, present and alert.
4. Be flexible
I advocate preparing more material than you know is required for the timing of your talk. Having this reserve of information will allow you to go in several different directions, depending on the audience and their requirements and interests.
If you feel that it is hard for you to know what your audience requires, I suggest asking a simple question to help you become aware of this before you go on stage: “What can I say that this audience can hear?” When you ask this, you will find that you include those parts that are relevant to the people in the room, in a way that involves them. When you give the same talk the following week to a different group of people, you will find yourself including different things and presenting in a different way.
This is not conscious or something you even have to try to do – it is simply awareness that comes in in response to the question you asked.
5. Let go of perfection
We can sometimes be our own worst critics and demand of ourselves that we give a perfect presentation. That desire for perfection unfortunately tends to lock us up. Part of our mind is continually monitoring and judging whether we are doing well enough and is inevitably on the lookout for where are falling short of the mark.
When we give ourselves freedom to not be perfect, to even get it wrong, we can relax, and the audience feels and responds to that relaxation. Actually, the audience takes its cue from us. So, if we are relaxed, they are inclined to be, too.
If you do make a “mistake,” the best thing you can do is smile and apologize, without making it significant. Again, when you do that, the audience will follow suit, and will not pay it much attention.
I am so grateful for the techniques that I have shared here. They have actually allowed me to get to the point that I am happy, confident and excited to make a presentation. I hope this information leads to that same freedom for you.
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