Here you are, having started you own business and you are full of expectations on how your business will grow. Then life happens, and the progress is not as expected. Frustration and disappointment set in. So many of us have been there. Some give up, others fight on. What if there is a third way?
In business, expectations are usually associated with results one would like to accomplish. How often have we heard that in order to avoid disappointment, we need to lower our expectations? Lower results would also mean lower the success in your business. What if, instead, we let go of all of our expectations? What! Not looking for results, wouldn’t that mean not having any goals? Yes, you would not have them in the form of expectations.
What if you look at what kind of person you would like to be and what you would like to do instead of looking at results. Who would you like to be when you interact with clients or customers? What is the purpose of your business and how will you respond to a changing world? Can you perceive the difference between these questions and expectations? The specificity of expectations limits the possibilities that can be perceived. When, on the other hand, you are open and willing to be who you truly are, you are curious, you ask questions, and you can perceive so many more possibilities. That alone makes a huge difference in the success of your business.
How do you let go of expectations? First of all, you have to acknowledge to yourself that you have them and get clear on what exactly they are. There are times, when looking for a change in perspective can work. Are you looking at a glass as half full instead of half empty? Sometimes you stand something on its ear as Steven Bowman says, meaning you look at it from exactly the opposite side. At times, you just have to let go of them. To some people, letting go of expectation sounds very serious and difficult. If you have a strong attachment to these expectations, or there is a need to be right, then it is difficult. On the other hand, it can be as easy as simply dropping them, as if opening your hand and, as a result, letting go of the tight grip. From my own experience, I can say that life is a lot easier than we think it is. We are so entrained to it being difficult that we actually resist the ease that is possible.
As I have shown, asking a question is a great tool for loosening the grip of our expectations. Here are a few additional suggestions for questions you might ask: If I didn’t have this expectation, what would I choose? What else is possible here? What would it take to have ease with this? These questions are not designed to give you an answer, rather they give you an awareness that you can follow.
When we have expectations, are we present with what is or do we see situations based on our interpretation of what is? In a HuffPost article, Debbie Hampton talks about the attachment to our ‘should be’ thoughts and the pain this causes in our personal lives. This is also true in our business lives. Based on these thoughts of how things should be, we judge what is instead of being present with it and allowing ourselves to perceive the positive aspects that unfold. A question like “What is this actually?” might be the needed invitation to become present with what is and, importantly, to accept it.
A few times in here, I have mentioned you being you. When you are being who you truly are, there is no longer a need to look outside of yourself and see how you compare to others. You know who you are and are comfortable in your own skin. That shows up in your business as being able to follow what you know and trusting it. You may have to get clear on what you would like to create in the world. You may ask a question like “Who do I have to be and what do I have to do to accomplish this? You know and get busy creating. There is no need to pay attention to expectations, you are present with what is and where you would like to go. You are in the flow.
It is easy, and we are encouraged to compartmentalize our lives by focusing. If you are a mother, for instance, and work from home how much stress gets generated when your child(ren) are asking for your attention? What if the presence of your child contributes to your business and you doing business from home contributes to your child? How that contribution actually looks will be different for each person and situation. Would you be willing to explore how one aspect of your life can flow into another? Being present does not mean you cut off your awareness of any other part of your life.
What if owning your business without the expectations could be fun? Would you be willing to make a list of all the things that are fun for you? You could use items on that list to quickly recharge your batteries, to increase your creativity, to get out of a rut with a short break. The book “Joy of Business” by Simone Milasas could be the invitation to explore this even more. With its unusual perspectives, it is a book I keep coming back to. It reminds me of asking questions. Expectations and questions don’t go together since the expectation is fixed, the question open to possibilities.
