When looking for resources to help build and scale startups, we often turn to books and podcasts for motivation and advice. Rarely do we examine our personal relationships as a source of insight into how we might succeed in business. In fact, we often work to actively separate our personal lives from our work lives. However, building and scaling a successful business actually shares a lot of similarities with dating and maintaining a relationship. Startups are a labor of love, after all, so it only makes sense that we should look to love for inspiration.
Both businesses and personal relationships are ultimately about working closely with other people to achieve common goals. Every entrepreneur or business owner can attest that they put their heart and soul into their business and experience great joy and exhilaration, but those achievements come as a result of moments of hardship, tough decisions and compromises. In today’s highly competitive world, relationships form the bedrock of business success, creating a strong foundation for collaboration and innovation. Whether it’s with customers, suppliers, employees, or industry peers, nurturing meaningful connections creates ongoing value that can lead to sustained growth and can multiply the joy many times over by sharing it with others.
Here are five important ways that starting and scaling a company is similar to dating:
1. It Requires Good Communication
Collaboration, respect, and communication win the day, both in business and in our personal lives, particularly as we hit rough patches. As in personal relationships, conflicts occasionally arise in business, and emotions can run high at times. During these moments, it’s critical to take a step back and focus on the long-term goal. Rather than acting out of disappointment or resentment, it’s wise to evaluate what is really at stake and try to make informed, strategic decisions that are in the company’s best interest. This requires all parties involved to maintain a baseline of respect for one another and to communicate openly with the aim of doing what is best for the organization as a whole. Relationships are effective teachers in this regard, as they can only flourish when both parties know how to manage conflict in a respectful, productive, and collaborative manner. Even long-term, healthy relationships contain conflict: occasional disagreements are not a sign of dysfunction, but necessary steps toward genuine growth. Bringing this collaborative attitude into a business setting can help you distill valuable lessons from conflicts, turning them into an advantage rather than a detriment.
2. It Takes Dedication
Strong personal relationships do not happen automatically. Even when two people are naturally compatible, there’s no guarantee that the relationship will be successful—both people need to bring a distinct contribution to the table. Likewise, when it comes to business, having the right idea at the right time is not enough to create a thriving company. In both personal and business relationships, success requires commitment to a compelling vision, and commitment requires goal-setting and hard work towards achieving those goals. Being able to humble yourself and think about what will be best for the company is critical for creating a vision that is inspiring and compelling to others. While it can be easy to lose track of long-term goals in the day-to-day minutiae of work, remembering and staying connected to the company’s broader mission can provide you with a sense of purpose that will keep you motivated during difficult times.
3. It Requires You to Be Selective
To succeed in business, the team you choose is of paramount importance. Investing a significant amount of time and effort into people who are not fully committed to the company’s success will ultimately end up creating more work for you down the road. Smart singles know how to spot red flags quickly, and only pursue dates that they feel have real long-term potential. This ability to read people and understand their intentions is also an essential ingredient in business success. Being selective requires you to judge people by their actions rather than their words and to prioritize everyday efforts over grand gestures. In business, as in a relationship, there will inevitably be peaks and valleys, and you want to ensure that you are working with people who will stay with you through all of it.
4. It Benefits from Self-Care
Most people are familiar with the truism that you can’t love somebody else if you don’t learn how to love yourself. The same logic applies to a startup: you can’t grow it in a healthy, sustainable way if you don’t know how to manage your personal growth. While it can often feel like there is always something else that you can or should be doing, it’s important to know how to step back from your work and give yourself time to relax and practice self-care. Just as going on a new date every night does not make you more likely to find the right person, pushing yourself at every waking moment does not make a great breakthrough more likely. The time you take to revitalize yourself and get back in touch with the reasons you started the business in the first palace will help you approach your work from a more rested, positive, and clear-headed perspective. This helps keep burnout at bay and allows you to be at your best during those decisive moments.
5. It’s a Journey, Not a Destination
Growth has no end point. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you know that, as much as we enjoy comfort, it’s also important to always be growing and learning together to keep things fresh and exciting. Similarly, in business, it’s critical to stay abreast of new trends and developments in technology to ensure that your company remains relevant and competitive for the long run. This process also involves a delicate balancing act, as you do not want to sacrifice what made your brand exciting and distinctive in the first place. Being able to stay true to what you love about your company while also changing and growing in response to the times takes commitment, self-reflection, and integrity—all of which are important qualities in relationships as well.
6. It Requires Putting Yourself Out There
As with dating, startups require you to take initiative. They take courage to begin and tenacity to build, which can be deeply fulfilling. What often goes underemphasized, however, is the fact that building a startup is also exciting—indeed, there are few things more enjoyable than working closely with others toward your vision and watching it come to fruition. Starting and scaling a company allows you to develop connections with a wide variety of people while simultaneously giving you a unique opportunity to discover new things about yourself.
Finally, there is no “perfect time” to get out and pursue that business idea. While the thought of starting can be intimidating (not unlike the thought of asking someone out), waiting too long puts you at risk of being left behind as the market progresses around you. Opportunities for success do not come out of nowhere but are created by the act of putting yourself out there and giving the world what you have to offer. Being adaptable and maintaining a growth mindset are essential assets, as they help you stay attuned to new developments and opportunities that arise in the process of building your startup. This allows you to create your own luck rather than relying on external circumstances, which is the key to achieving long-term success.
The passion, excitement, personal growth, hard work, and commitment involved in nurturing a great relationship are paralleled in the journey of building a company, and the rewards are just as satisfying. Business is not just a matter of the mind, but the heart as well: taking inspiration from the other important relationships in your life can be a powerful way to define what success means to you, and to show you how you can make your dreams a reality.
