In my book, The Empath’s Survival Guide, I speak about why empaths are highly sensitive to negativity and stress from others. Empaths make up about one-fifth of the population, and not only feel other’s emotions, they absorb the emotions in ways that can leave them overwhelmed or exhausted. This is particularly true when they encounter any type of emotional vampire.
Emotional vampires can hide under many disguises—from ego-centric narcissists to relentless critics. The subtler emotional vampires can inflict damage by throwing you emotionally off-center, while the super-malignant ones can leave you feeling unworthy. Signs that you’ve encountered an emotional vampire in the form of a business associate can take the form of feeling anxious or depressed, wanting to binge on comfort foods, growing excessively fatigued or becoming irritable with others.
It’s important to name and combat these vampires. Take note of these common types you may encounter and follow these ‘silver bullet’ tips to fend them off.
1. Drags you into their black holes. These vampires are glass-half-empty people caught in the belief that society is out to get them. They want others to listen to their woes and pity them. Don’t expend your energy trying to rescue them or make helpful suggestions. Cut the conversation short and tell them you’ll be ready to talk when they want to focus on solutions.
2. Focuses only on themselves. These vampires are self-important, ego-centric and crave admiration and attention. They can be intelligent and charismatic as long as everything is about them.
Asserting your needs won’t influence them. These vampires are narcissists who lack empathy and are only capable of loving themselves. Don’t fall for their manipulations. Stick to your convictions and chose to be around more positive people.
3. Inflicts criticisms that go for the jugular. One of the more malevolent vampire types, these feel perfectly entitled to judge and belittle you while bolstering their own egos. Driven by envy and competition, their jabs can be so hurtful, they’ll be hard to get out of your head. Know that their need to put others down has nothing to do with you, and try not to take their poisonous criticisms personally. Never stoop to their level by countering meanness with meanness. Instead, address their misplaced criticism directly. Try to send some love and kindness their way; they need it.
4. Takes you on an emotional rollercoaster ride. These vampires may treat you like their best buddy in the beginning of the workday, then viciously attack you in the afternoon. They’re often threatening and keep everyone around them walking on a tightrope. With such volatile people, it’s smart to set firm boundaries and focus on solving problems when working with them. Avoid any confrontations and, when they’re exploding with rage, avoid eye contact. Imagine a protective shield blocks you from the emotional attack.
5. Convinced they’re in charge. These control freak vampires voice their opinions about everything, always assert themselves into every situation and think they know what’s best for the company. Refuse to be intimidated by their antics. Don’t let them trap you into bickering over minor setbacks; these control freaks will hurt your productivity if you do. State your viewpoint, and then agree to disagree.
