Everyone has goals they want to reach, but you may have already accomplished some of the biggest ones. You’ve met someone you love and work a job you love right out of your home. It all feels straight out of a dream, until you and your partner look at your finances.
Juggling finances is a struggle for most people. The specifics look a little different for everyone, but most people must balance their income with bills and debt, along with whatever their financial goals are.
It puts added stress on relationships that doesn’t need to be there. Check out how to handle tough financial situations in your relationship so you have some tips in your back pocket the next time things get tense when you sit down with your partner and talk about money.
Work Out Separate or Combined Budgets
Sometimes people in relationships keep separate budgets so they keep a sense of independence even while living together. Although it’s important to maintain a strong sense of self in a relationship, it’s sometimes smarter to combine your budgets and separate your bank accounts.
After one or both of you receive a paycheck, you’ll need to sit down and work on where that money goes. That’s much easier when there’s a single budget, compared to balancing two budgets separately. Unless both of you are highly organized, this is where money could be slipping away without either partner realizing it.
Build your budget around the bills you must pay, the necessities like food and gas, and then figure out what’s left over. Finding out your combined leftover income is crucial to moving forward with financial goals like saving for a down payment or paying off debt. You’ll know exactly how much to spend and what you can use to make your financial life a little more comfortable.
Set Caps on Impulse Spending
A big source of tension in relationships is how each partner decides to spend their money. When they pay the bills on time or put extra money away, there’s no problem with undiscussed financial decisions. The problem comes when purchases are made that are more fun than necessary.
Imagine you finish a hard day of work and come out of your office to find your partner plugging up a new video game console that cost at least $200. They explain that they went out for groceries and thought they deserved to splurge because they had a hard week at work.
While you may not disagree with the justification, you know that $200 could have gone towards an extra credit card payment that month. It creates an atmosphere of resentment and tension that’s not great for your relationship.
That’s why you should limit your impulse spending by agreeing to a cap. Talk about setting your impulse spending limit to $50 and any purchase more than that should be discussed beforehand. Set a number you’re both comfortable with and recognize the long-term benefits of setting spending limits for the near future.
Plan for Property Ownership
Not every couple dreams of owning a home, and that’s okay. If it’s on your radar, however, saving for the purchase can create financial stress the two of you need to prepare for. The first step is to assess your financial history and identify any barriers to homeownership, like poor credit history or tax considerations.
Unmarried couples also need to think through the financial implications of buying a house together. Many partners find it easiest to tie the knot before taking this step for a reason — joint tenants have more challenging legal issues to worry about. Some couples even keep the mortgage application in one name and work out a legal arrangement on their own.
Whatever you decide to do, it’s essential to be on the same page. Open up communication and honestly address the financial strengths and weaknesses you each bring to the table. This will help you determine whether you two want to sign a marriage contract, go for joint tenancy or keep the property under one owner.
Avoid Placing Blame
Sometimes in life, unexpected things happen that rip apart your financial plans. Your partner may get sick and end up in the hospital, lose their job or total their car. These are all high-stress scenarios where your first instinct may be to sympathize with your partner, but you can end up resenting them later on.
Resentment becomes real when you’re struggling to meet the bills on just your income and there isn’t a quick solution for your partner’s situation. Even in the toughest moments, avoid placing unnecessary blame where it doesn’t belong. Drop the issue you have with whatever caused the situation to happen, whether your partner accidentally ran a red light or slacked off at work and got fired.
Blame doesn’t solve any problems. Instead, work together to find solutions. Encourage your partner to get a part-time job while they look for their next full-time role or get professional debt advice when it comes to expensive medical bills.
Prioritize What You Value
No one can deny that money is important. You and your partner need it to live, but don’t prioritize it over what’s worth valuing. In any tough situation, make the effort to recognize what matters in life. Bills and debt are important considerations, but honest communication and effort can overcome financial strain.
Talk about how you both can value your relationship over money to gain a clearer perspective. Spend time together when you’re not thinking about your finances and do something fun, like walk through the local park or attend free town festivals. Once you get a fresh perspective, any tough financial situation will seem easier to conquer and make your relationship healthier.
Tips for a Happy and Financially Healthy Relationship
It might feel uncomfortable to talk about finances because they’re the last thing you want to worry about with your partner, but push past that feeling. Open communication will make these tips work seamlessly to help your relationship get through any financial hardship.
Once you’re both on the same page about your finances, it’ll be easier to handle your combined incomes to achieve your goals.
